Craig Wisner



If God wills it. My father-in-law used to say this with a shrug and a gesture of his hands, palms to the sky. He’d say this about the most difficult things while we chatted about life over a cup of Turkish coffee.

I can understand the anger. At the core, a lot of people are confused and afraid. Some lash out, some put on the armor of denial. Some sooth themselves by seeking fault in others. Some build a wall of stoicism and logic.


Do what you have to do.


People are terrified of losing control, whether it’s a virus or fear of someone taking their rights away. But maybe we never had it in the first place? Maybe living with 300,000,000 other people requires the humility of surrendering the illusion of that control? Dwelling on this might help with the fear and anger and bravado directed towards others, perhaps giving way to something healthier like forgiveness. Relentlessly seeking who’s to blame is likely a missed opportunity to live your life.

Welcome to being in something together, for better or worse. I know it’s disorienting for those just realizing it. I know we like to think we are in control.

Inshallah” as my father-in-law would say, squinting into the sun while sitting on the porch. You don’t have to be a believer to understand that beyond your personal actions, what’s going to happen is going to happen.

4 responses

  1. Jeremy

    As Brene Brown likes to say: Go vulnerable, or go home!

    November 23, 2020 at 5:41 pm

  2. Tom Kirchner

    Implicit in the timeless wisdom of that phrase is that we are not in control, a concept so alien to the American mind as to be incomprehensible beyond the literal meaning of the words. But then, we are a young culture, with much to learn before we too acquire the “old eyes” of your father-in -law and the acceptance of the uncertainty of life they express so eloquently.

    November 23, 2020 at 7:57 pm

    • Alien and incomprehensible indeed. Well said Tom.

      November 24, 2020 at 4:53 am

  3. Don’t know if it’s the exact same thing, but a friend of mine was fond of saying “it is what it is.” That use to annoy me. I thought it was a cop-out. But I’ve come to understand the wisdom of that saying and the idea behind it.

    November 24, 2020 at 6:46 am

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